Love you Mom and Dad.

 Saturday, February 3, 2024:

"Still can't understand what that person is thinking. Talking to some people in the team, not many agree with me. Personally, I have reasons to protect myself. I can't let myself be hurt. I don't believe I did anything wrong, and above all, I don't feel deserving of that anger."

I feel that my mother is a blend of my aunts; she resembles each of them to some extent. I began to perceive many things when I had nieces.

As for that person, someone I used to deeply cherish, now I'm not sure anymore. Perhaps things are simple, and they may just speak negatively but have a good heart. However, now I'm not certain. I don't feel their empathy or excessive affection towards me.

But I know that person is good, and they are my family. They have done many things that I couldn't. I should appreciate them, but I feel like I am being difficult. Right?

It's time to reevaluate relationships. My friends, whom I considered crucial in the past, don't hold the same significance now. I think having them is good, but if not, casual social connections suffice. As for the rest, I shouldn't share too much. It's time to reconsider relationships and not let things turn sour. Let's make an effort to improve.

A friend once said something I should reflect on: I desire many things but don't endure what others have done to achieve them. I understand, yet for some reason, I haven't changed. But I believe change is on the horizon.

Mom, what should I do? I don't know what kind of person I want to be, but I can't just keep thinking. I need to do something. Every day, do a little, and hopefully, positive results will come soon. Mom, you're wonderful, and Dad too. I miss both of you a lot.

Dean Lewis - How Do I Say Goodbye (Official Audio) (youtube.com)