Chapter 1: My garden - The first seedling in my garden.

 

Another week has passed, and I find myself reflecting on the experiences I've been through. There were moments of joy, sadness, frustration, and discomfort. Dark thoughts are still lingering within, waiting to be released. The story remains the same - being scolded by the boss in a crowded place, feeling embarrassed, and noticing the judgmental gazes of others that make me feel belittled.

 Yet, I don't live for them; their opinions hold no concern for me. If they look down on me, I shouldn't belittle myself further. Now, I always assume that there are people out there who don't like me, hate me, look down on me, and belittle me - from my appearance to my abilities. They compare me to others and mock me, criticize me. So, I don't need one more person to despise, look down on, and compare me, especially when that person is myself.

 What others have done; I don't need to do. What I need to do is love myself, acknowledge, and accept my flaws and limitations, recognize my strengths, and leverage them. Everyday work hard and moves forward. As for other judgments from hundreds of people out there, let them judge; I shouldn't waste time on meaningless actions.

 I like myself now, though not perfect. I've undergone significant positive changes. I will continue to strive, to ascend, and find my passion. I know what I like and dislike, and I can handle things that I couldn't control before. No longer letting negative emotions drag me away and lose myself.

(3) theDOGS - YouTube

(3) ヒグチアイ / 悪魔の子 (アニメスペシャルVer.) | Ai Higuchi “Akuma no Ko” Anime Special Ver. - YouTube

From Toir daily notes.

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