Exploring hidden garden inside me, my talents, me outstanding values and my attraction.

Saturday, November 11, 2023

I feel the injustice when I'm not exceptionally outstanding. Everyone will eventually grow old. I once watched an interview with a 93-year-old woman. She said she knew her time left was not much, and she had a happy life. She advised to find passion and pursue it, as life will have more meaning that way.

I, too, will depart from this world one day. I want to live a life like the present. As Jack said in Titanic, 'make each day count.' I want each passing day to hold meaning. I desire a mind free from envy and jealousy, and I want my compassion and forgiveness to be greater than ever. But I'll be a strong, independent woman, capable of helping many. I'll uphold myself and the good values, even if life is harsh or unfair to me. I hope to be strong enough, rational enough, and intelligent enough to overcome it. I want to learn, to excel, to succeed because I know in this unjust society, I must defeat it through learning and the values within me.

I embrace all my emotions, not avoiding or justifying them, using feelings of joy, sadness, boredom, and even dislike as measures to know what to change and what strengths to enhance within myself.

I'll face many other things and have to muster my strength to overcome them, so I'll conserve my energy—ignore what's not worth it and focus on positivity to further develop myself. I believe there are extraordinary things I've yet to discover. I push myself to learn, to love the act of learning, and I'm certain that good things will come my way.

Today is November 11th, 2023, a very special day, as some people on TikTok have mentioned.

And as I've heard somewhere, it's suggested to write down 11 things you want the most.

So, I also want to try writing down 11 things I desire the most.

But,

But I don't have 11 things, I only have one thing I wish for and pursue. I want good health and a happy spirit to pursue my dreams. I feel I need a companion, but 31 years have passed, and I haven't had anyone to accompany me. Perhaps I'm not yet ready to meet the person I desire, so I'll let the universe bring him to me when I've become that better version. Because at that time, next to the person I long for, only I would be the most suitable.

That's enough for today; I've sent my heartfelt wish into the universe, something I've thought about a lot. I will always pursue things that are enduring, sustainable, and beautiful, things that benefit not only myself but others as well.

From the bottom of my heart.

My goal or my dream life.

I want to have a fulfilling life with people who respect me, and I also respect them. I want to be able to enjoy delicious food, wear nice clothes, share good stories, and help many people every day. A life where everyone does their best for each other within their abilities, without excessive demands. Everyone keeps learning constantly to improve themselves so that they can help more people. I do not chase wealth, but of course, I understand that in the place I want to live, I can not be happy without money.

I cannot change other people’s thoughts about myself. But I want others to respect me so I have to prove that I deserve respect.

Sunday, October 29, 2023

Today, in a moment, I managed to dislike my job less. But I return to a state of exhaustion when I still have to work on weekends. And feel the injustice towards myself. I want to go back to school, I want a different life and I want to excel and learn more.